Diploma Mill From Hell

I really hate "legitimate" diploma mills that pop out superficially educated "graduates" with college degrees. I'm old fashioned enough to be suspicious of the easy out some of these programs seem to offer, and I recognize how adults seeking to improve themselves may be duped by the lower end education these schools may offer. But this one takes the cake. I was convinced that Joanne Jacobs was pulling my virtual leg with this one, but it seems to be true. After all, it's in the LA Times (registration required).

The 06 August 2004 LAT piece by Jason Felix opens:

A chain of alternative high schools accused of selling phony diplomas has taught thousands of immigrants that there are 53 states in the union, four branches of government and two houses in Congress — one for Republicans and one for Democrats.

Some of the hollers included in the LAT piece really aren't funny. Indeed, it's downright cruel and evil.

There are 53 states in the United States. In addition to the "original" 50 states, the union has added Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico. But the flag has not yet been updated to reflect the addition of the last three states.

it gets worse.

There are four branches of government. They are the legislative, judicial, executive and "administrative" branches. Asked about the fourth branch by investigators, one teacher responded that "not much is heard about it because it works behind the scenes." The Treasury Department is part of the "administrative" branch.

There are two houses of Congress: the Senate for Democrats and the House for Republicans.

World War II occurred from 1938 to 1942.

Who would want to send their kids to get a degree like that? Well the plot sickens. The school was targeted towards non-English speaking immigrants looking for a shortcut to get a GED, and was specifically targeted towards Latinos, Hispanics and other Spanish-speaking newcomers.

That makes this metric even more nasty in light of the rest of the commentary:

One question in the workbook says: "Read the book 'Death of a Traveling Salesman' and write a commentary."

Did I mention that the scam was targeted towards non-English speaking immigrants, some of whom could not even write in their native language?

Come on. Four branches of government? 50 original states? Anyone who remembers Schoolhouse Rock can fact check this one faster than Michael Moore's latest "documentary." In all likelihood the scammers had to know that this was all BS. Yet they did it anyway, and from what I can see it was just to add the cherry on the cake and tie it all up in a vicious cruel bow -- there is no way that a "graduate" of such a program, in which the education was mostly given in Spanish, could make it through a GED being shoveled that level of lies. And indeed, that seems not to have been the objective nor does the story go into detail as to how the "graduates" fared. It was all about getting on the order $1K ($450 to $1450) from their marks. To make matters worse, like my alma matter, graduate HAD to participate in the graduation ceremony to stroke the ego of the hucksters just to get the "diplomas." To them, it was all a joke. To their marks, it was an attempted murder on hope.

Interesting comments in the story, however, indicated a common thread in some of the lower-rent diploma mill programs. Quoth one victim:

"It was all too easy," said Josefina Roa, who attended with Serrato. "They didn't make us think. They gave us all the answers."

We could kill the scammers. But you can only do it once.

But the worst part of the whole thing:

The court order named attorney David J. Pasternak to run the school until the civil suit is decided. [emphasis mine]

Run. Not close. The word "close" is only in the story's headline. The court order seems directed only to the school's assets. No mention if "classes" (even properly run ones) are still in session.