Culinary Child Abuse

In Mexico and Southeast Asia, they use a light hollandaise sauce.

Chilled, of course

Purple is the new Red -- till Red's the new Purple

Be it grading or marking up a proposal or paper of mine or a colleague, I use red or green (now just red since my green is empty). I can read it since it stands out from the black or blue. It makes fixing the mistake easier than if I or the recipient use a black or blue pen or pencil.

But Joanne Jacobs tells me that I'm not hip and withit.

Purple is the new red.

Red is politically (if not fashionably) incorrect. It has historically meant "wrong." (Duh!) We must therefore use purple to highlight students'... innovative use of commas, math errors, spelling, etc. This is clearly seen on the link above where you see a photo of "purple" (otherwise known as dark blue under low light) marking up a 1rst grader or a meteorology professor's penmanship homework (Since that chickenscratch is getting a bunch of the new F's, it just could be mine).



Eyup... I can read it. But it sure looks darn close to blue in my eyes -- which is why I like red (or red-green if your color blind). Likewise, green stands out. Red (and green) are just the only colors in the box that aren't taken by text or highlighting. (Grading map analyses are a different story, but anyway...)

I've only seen references not to use red when working with certain Asian cultures as red is used specifically to crucify the recipient (though I have never seen any proof of it since my Asian students don't seem to have issues with it). But otherwise I have never seen the directive. Then again, I'm old school, taught teaching by old school meteo profs who wanted us to see our mistakes so we could correct them. Consequently, I'm not hip to the jive – until purple gets the same historical connotation as red.

Sorry, I'm sticking to red. As long as the designated color or text is black and blue (the same as a bruise or properly “cooked” Pittsburg steak), I'm gonna make their eyes bleed.

Fair’s fair...

"Are those Free-Range vegetarians or are they raised in captivity?"

I am an unrepentant carnivore. I like steak, fish, chicken, bison, venison, veal, lamb... (I've hunkered for cute baby animals and would probably eat sad-eyed orphans if Nigella Lawson & Donna Hay said they were tasty). But certain people around me have reservations and don't like factory farming, especially for Chicken (understandable, I s'pose, given the recent kerfluffle on how some Tyson chickens were treated). Fortunately the local Alberstsons has a brand of Free-Range chickens...

BUT... I talked to the butcher and he and I went through the agitprop. I saw nothing that explicity said that their brand was was indeed FR (though they mention the value of Free-Range farming in the literature). And to make things even more interesting there was a reference to the chicken's strict all-vegetarian diet. Obviously, my credibility detectors went to 11.

First. You are about to eat a dead animal. Asside from mad cow issues (which are overblown), who the heck cares if the late Foghorn Leghorn was a Vegan cause you sure as hell aren't about to be one...

Second. Just how in the barnyard are those birds gonna be monitored to make sure they don't eat any bugs, worms or all the other good stuff that gives free-range chicken the flavor edge over factory raised birds? The only way that works is if they are in very large pens or the free-range is a parking lot. Worse still I can see some nagging goose (free-range or not) enforcing the no-meat rule around the barnyard like the food police or a vegan who became a vegetarian for the worst reason (second-handed fake moral superiority) just to make everyone else more miserable than he is. Happy chickens my fanny.

I'll just say it's artificially chicken-flavored tofu and leave it at that.

Diploma Mill From Hell

I really hate "legitimate" diploma mills that pop out superficially educated "graduates" with college degrees. I'm old fashioned enough to be suspicious of the easy out some of these programs seem to offer, and I recognize how adults seeking to improve themselves may be duped by the lower end education these schools may offer. But this one takes the cake. I was convinced that Joanne Jacobs was pulling my virtual leg with this one, but it seems to be true. After all, it's in the LA Times (registration required).

The 06 August 2004 LAT piece by Jason Felix opens:

A chain of alternative high schools accused of selling phony diplomas has taught thousands of immigrants that there are 53 states in the union, four branches of government and two houses in Congress — one for Republicans and one for Democrats.

Some of the hollers included in the LAT piece really aren't funny. Indeed, it's downright cruel and evil.

There are 53 states in the United States. In addition to the "original" 50 states, the union has added Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico. But the flag has not yet been updated to reflect the addition of the last three states.

it gets worse.

There are four branches of government. They are the legislative, judicial, executive and "administrative" branches. Asked about the fourth branch by investigators, one teacher responded that "not much is heard about it because it works behind the scenes." The Treasury Department is part of the "administrative" branch.

There are two houses of Congress: the Senate for Democrats and the House for Republicans.

World War II occurred from 1938 to 1942.

Who would want to send their kids to get a degree like that? Well the plot sickens. The school was targeted towards non-English speaking immigrants looking for a shortcut to get a GED, and was specifically targeted towards Latinos, Hispanics and other Spanish-speaking newcomers.

That makes this metric even more nasty in light of the rest of the commentary:

One question in the workbook says: "Read the book 'Death of a Traveling Salesman' and write a commentary."

Did I mention that the scam was targeted towards non-English speaking immigrants, some of whom could not even write in their native language?

Come on. Four branches of government? 50 original states? Anyone who remembers Schoolhouse Rock can fact check this one faster than Michael Moore's latest "documentary." In all likelihood the scammers had to know that this was all BS. Yet they did it anyway, and from what I can see it was just to add the cherry on the cake and tie it all up in a vicious cruel bow -- there is no way that a "graduate" of such a program, in which the education was mostly given in Spanish, could make it through a GED being shoveled that level of lies. And indeed, that seems not to have been the objective nor does the story go into detail as to how the "graduates" fared. It was all about getting on the order $1K ($450 to $1450) from their marks. To make matters worse, like my alma matter, graduate HAD to participate in the graduation ceremony to stroke the ego of the hucksters just to get the "diplomas." To them, it was all a joke. To their marks, it was an attempted murder on hope.

Interesting comments in the story, however, indicated a common thread in some of the lower-rent diploma mill programs. Quoth one victim:

"It was all too easy," said Josefina Roa, who attended with Serrato. "They didn't make us think. They gave us all the answers."

We could kill the scammers. But you can only do it once.

But the worst part of the whole thing:

The court order named attorney David J. Pasternak to run the school until the civil suit is decided. [emphasis mine]

Run. Not close. The word "close" is only in the story's headline. The court order seems directed only to the school's assets. No mention if "classes" (even properly run ones) are still in session.

Blowing the Curve - and loving it (and so he should): Cordair on Armstrong

Some nasty and petty things have been said about Lance Armstrong during this year's Tour de France. From specious doping charges to having illicit hygiene products in his French hotel rooms, to getting spat upon by his opponents. (In all fairness, it seems that this happens to a lot of contestants on the Tour.) Had he been involved in the market, he may very well have stacked up to be this year's Martha Stewart now that the would-be Curella is starring in a very special episode of the Women of Cell Block H and the success haters need a new tall poppy to cut down.

Given that, it's always nice to see something nice said about the kid who blows away the curve. Admit it. You were that kid more than once, and that kid smoked you once.

"Read the Whole Thing"

Lance Armstrong -- Role Model for Success, by Quent Cordair

"Team America is GO!"

Jury's out on the Thunderbirds movie until I see it on video, but somehow I think this flick better captures the Gerry and Sylvia Anderson vision! Not sure if Martin Landau, Barbara Bain or any of the purple wigged moonbase "operatives" will make cameos, but I'm pretty sure the Tracy's are laying low pending news on any sequels.

Cho on Stewart

Saucy comedienne Margaret Cho, whose recent blog entries are much less fun than what's listed on her side bar, hits the nail on why The Man™ capped Martha Stewart. The Money Quote, surprisingly refreshing for the side of the aisle known for envy-politics:

The problem is that Martha Stewart was not a homemaker. She was an entrepreneur. She was not selling the recipes and party plans and 'good things' in order to promote stay at home moms and give undue labor to keep women's minds from wandering to books and feminist theory. She was promoting the idea of perfection, wherever you could have it. It was about that notion of perfecting something, and then it becoming yours. This was the American Dream as it could be made accessible to American women. You could empower yourself through action, and that is probably the danger that Martha Stewart represents. She is the authority on independence, and that is what we don't want from our mothers and for our daughters.[Bold and Italicized Emphasis Mine, but the whole paragraph is damn good!]

Nicely said but I disagree just a little... I don't buy into the big conspiracy of the Hegemonic Oppressors keeping The Other down by using her as an example, and she's an inspiration to far more than just women. Plus most beautiful people and members of the middle and working classes who buy into the Envy Cool-Aid of know nothing of her less-than-posh start.

But Cho definitely gets the angle by which the prosecutors caught their fish. People hate her because she makes reaching that “perfection” look easy. I've tried one or two of her experiments and they aren't that hard (but I really don't recommend the Vidalia onion sandwiches) once you put your mind to it – and in there lies the rub. Some people would just rather seethe and eat the sandwich with the crust on. And with that, she makes a good target for hateful envy, and the prosecutors knew it: Try Cruella DeVille by leveraging her unfair street image and let the charges you want (fortunately the judge threw out one of the more contentious charges) ride on her back like a coat made of puppy fur. And making a bad precedent is easier than blowing half an hour watching Nigella Lawson fondle the recipe of the week. And with that, methinks the people who resent her for selling those 300-threadcount K-Mart sheets are going to regret their victory when The Man™ asks them about that call they got from their broker last month.

Prodigal Son's Parents' Revenge

Oh this is great. I leave home to be a professional weather wienie, and since I’ve left home my hometown has been home to umpteen hurricanes and tropical storms (while I was there, I made it through as many as 3-4).

And now it’ s umpteen plus one.

(and yes, given my parents age, I’m very very very greatful this one looks like a sissy unlike Bertha, Fran, or Floyd.)

Update: My bad: NHC's looking to upgrade him to a Cat-1 by Tuesday...